Faction welcomes new Minnesota transplant

A new local resident was recently welcomed into the Minnesota Faction. The 39 year old moved to the Twin Cities in August, thanks to a new job opportunity. "I'm a little worried about the upcoming Winter," said the F*cking New Guy, Brett. "I've spent some time in Wisconsin, but I don't think the Winters there are anything like Winter in Minnesota."

Originally hailing from Mississippi, FNG Brett grew up racing in the South. "I started out on a Blazer in 1981. Didn't have that very long before it broke. Then I was on a Rebel, Johnny Reb model, in 1982. That was a sweet bike, I had Steve Shobert autograph it at a National at Gilley's in Texas. After that I got a co-factory deal on a Rebel General Lee."

Brett continued recounting his racing stories. "I was chasing NBL Points, hitting all the War of the Stars races I could. But my dad wasn't real supportive. He coached a little football."

Brett had to make a choice in 1984: Racing or football. "It was real tough. I loved my old man, but he just couldn't see that BMX would get me anywhere. I told him, 'Dad, Brian Patterson made, like, $150,000 last year.' He said 'OK, we'll see how much he's making two years from now. And does anybody give college scholarships for BMX?'" Brett didn't have a comeback for that one. His dad continued, "You focus on football, get a scholarship, and get an education degree. That way, if sports don't work out for you, you can always get a job teachin' and coachin'."

Brett grudgingly gave in. "Heck, racin' wasn't much fun anymore anyways. Rod Miles and the Haney Brothers were going Malachi on me pretty regular. So I sold my Rebel bikes and gear, and with the money I bought a Trickstar. It was pink."

He found freedom in Freestyle. "I was able to keep riding, but I didn't have to spend all that energy chasing points. Gave me a little more time for lifting weights and throwing the ball around." But it wasn't all smooth sailing. "I got a little shit-talking from the good ol' boys around town, for riding that pink bike. But I didn't care. I have always felt my legacy was mine - it was what I think of it. I didn't care what anyone thought about the color of the bike beneath me."

Like many freestylers of his era, Brett and his friends put together a team to do shows. "We were called "Rednex Trix Team". We did shows at the county fairs. And let me tell you, every county in Mississippi has a fair."

The summer of 1985 was a big one for Brett and his friends. "There are 16 weekends from Memorial Day to Labor Day. We did shows on 14 of those weekends. We took my buddy's ex-stepdad's bass boat trailer and we built a quarterpipe on it. It just had a big hinge and the ramp flipped backward when we needed to transport it. That was about the smartest thing I ever thought of. I don't think anybody else in the world would ever have thought to use a boat trailer like that. And we had a wedge ramp that had the confederate flag painted on it. That won over a few people in the crowd who didn't like my Pink Hutch."

But Labor Day in 1985 signaled turning point for the hard-working freestyler. "I was quarterback for my old man's football team. He was great, he put up with a lot. But I sprained my wrist trying a 540 for the first time at our last show of the year. Daddy went nuts on me when I got home. 'You are our starting quarterback! How are you gonna play with your wrist like that?'"

I said, "Dad, don't worry. I will find a way to play." The following Friday night, Brett was 21 for 26, throwing for four touchdowns, all left-handed. "After that, I knew I my riding had gone about as far as I could take it. I decided that pushing myself riding wasn't worth the tradeoff to what it might do to my football."

The Pink Trickstar sat in the back of the garage, collecting dust. Brett went off to College in 1987. He got that football scholarship that his dad hoped for. But BMX was never far from his mind. "After I settled in at Southern Miss, I went back home and got that Trickstar. I got a lotta funny looks pedalling that to class. But I loved it." But his senior year, his Trickstar was stolen. "I didn't lock it. Everybody knew who's bike it was. I didn't figure anybody had the nads to take Southern Miss's quarterback's pink bike. But somebody did, and I never saw it again. At that point, I decided to get a mountain bike. They were looking pretty cool. I got a neon yellow Haro."

Brett tried to forget about BMX as he focused on furthering his football career. He pursued some opportunities for playing professionally in Atlanta, and then in Green Bay, WI. "Green Bay was pretty fun. I felt at home there among the good ol' boys. And every year at Training Camp, they had this tradition where kids would loan their bikes to the players to get from the locker room to the practice field. This jump-started my love for BMX again. I always grabbed a BMX Bike to ride on. I about gave Coach Holmgren a heart attack one time when I pulled a backwards rubber ride on some kids' Dyno. But I knew what I was doing. It was a DeTour, and both the brake levers were in the right spot to support my feet." Coach was not impressed however, and in his next contract, Brett was forbidden from riding BMX bikes of any kind, at any time.

That contract couldn't stop him from collecting bikes though. In his offseasons, he scoured the bike shops and pawn shops of the towns of Mississippi, trying to recreate the bikes of his youth. "I found a NOS Rebel General Lee frame in a shop right in Hattiesburg. And then I found a cracked Blazer. I had Rod Miles weld it for me. He's a good shit. Then I needed some parts. Who do you suppose had the all the parts I needed? The Haney brothers. They didn't exactly cut me any deals, but hey, money talks, and I have a few bucks in my checking account. Then I needed a Trickstar. I kinda put the word out, and then one day UPS shows up at my door. NOS Trickstar frameset, in the box. A gift from Juan Mattos. I also had to have a DK General Lee. I mean - come on. It's like they designed that bike just for me."

It was tough having the bikes of his youth around, but not being able to ride them. But Brett was able to occupy himself with other pursuits. "I got me a nice John Deere, and I got a lot of grass to cut." The John Deere kept him busy until 2008. "In 2008, when I retired from football, the main thing I wanted to do was get back on a BMX bike. I had occaisionally seen what guys like Dave Mirra and Brian Foster were doing in the X-Games, and I knew I had to get the feel of airing it out on a BMX bike again. When I retired, it was on. I rode street, I rode parks. I spent a lot of the daylight hours in the summer of 2008 using that John Deere to push dirt around. With the help of some locals, we made some of the sweetest trails there ever was in Mississippi." But some of his new young friends there also were members of the High School football team. "They talked me into throwing them some passes to get ready for football season. One thing led to another, and I was feeling the urge to get back into football." This time however, he would not give up riding.

"I told Ted Thompson (Green Bay's General Manager), I was coming back and this time I was bringing my General Lee. After he found out that my General Lee was a bike and not a '69 Charger, he was not happy." Days stretched into weeks as Brett stayed firm in his insistance that he be able to ride BMX, not only at training camp, but also during the regular season. Ultimately, Ted blinked first in the negotiations, and he traded Brett's rights to the New York Jets. "I thought we could make it work" said Eric Mangini, the coach of the Jets. "I thought that the focus would be on football, and if he would just go on a ride occaisionally with Ralph Sensi and Bob Scerbo, well, that couldn't be any worse than one of our other players enjoying a night out at a club." Mangini even took extra precautions to make sure the situation was a positive one. "I reached out to Russ Bengston. Russ has worked with pro athletes before. He knows how to mix hardcore riding with professional sports. He steered Stephon Marbury back into the game after Marbury let the BMX/Basketball thing get a little out of balance for a while."

It did work for the Jets, up until about week 12 of the 17 week season. But Brett confesses "I was riding the Brooklyn Banks with Russ. And I slammed pretty hard on a footjam tailwhip." His throwing arm was damaged. "'Not a big deal' I thought. I'd been here before. I'll just throw switch." The Jets went 1-4 over their last five games with their left-handed quarterback, missing the playoffs.

This just gave Brett more time for riding again. But that right bicep was a problem. "I just couldn't get the pump I needed to throw 360's. I was landing them all at about 270. So I knew I needed surgery." He got the surgery and was ready to ride again. This time though, he knew he was done with football.

"I'd had enough. Seriously, I am 39 years old - 40 in October. I do not need guys like Albert Haynesworth grinding me into the turf."

But Minnesota Vikings Coach Brad Childress got his cell phone number. "Chili, he kept calling. And calling. Said I was the missing piece - they had all the other pieces of the puzzle in place. I seriously thought about getting a new cell phone just to stop the calls. I even called my boy Rick Thorne - I knew him from the county fair circuit back in the day - but he told me he just couldn't hook me up. He's hanging on by a thread over there at Boost Mobile."

"I watched the Vikings' first pre-season game and I just had to laugh. Chili was looking sick on the sidelines. It wasn't 15 minutes after that game finished that my phone rang again."

"I had had some time to think about it, so I said to Chili, 'Get me Zigy.' And when Zigy Wilf got on the phone, I said 'Here's the deal. I will play for you for one year. You will pay me 12 million dollars, we will win the Super Bowl, and that is going to get you your precious new billion-dollar stadium funded with the Minnesota legislature. And then, you will sell me the Metrodome for one dollar. Zigy said 'Done. I will send my plane to pick you up.'"

"I am planning to build the mother of all bike parks in that dome. No skaters allowed. And my new bros in the Faction will ride for free, all time."

Thanks Brett. But you're still the F*cking New Guy. Go get me a Grain Belt Premium.